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Still, despite its long history, hooking up is something that can cause massive drama, exhaustion, and nothing short of emotional breakdowns. Nothing kills easy, casual sex like spending the entire length of your relationship freaking out. So how can you communicate better with your hookup?


Researchers at the University of Montana found so many different definitions among the students they studied that they had to come up with a precise definition to be sure everybody was talking about the same thing. But the lead author of their study, published in the journal Health Communications, said in a telephone interview that ambiguity is not necessarily a bad thing. It's a way for them [students] to communicate about it but without having to reveal details.


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We hope that by opening the conversation about hook-ups that we empower our community to ask for help, feel unashamed about the adult choices they are making, and ultimately lower our risk of being victims of violence.

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Some would argue that what these people need is a good lecture on the dangers of risky behavior, but Holman said talking is not likely to make hookups go away. But the lead author of their study, published in the journal Health Communications, said in a telephone interview that ambiguity is not necessarily a bad thing.

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To avoid broken hearts and hurt feelings, have the talk about if you want to be the sort of pair who looks at each other slyly from across a room, or who claims each other publically at parties. To find out more, please read our complete terms of use.

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Why is it so important we talk about this? Some people are out there cruising with the intent of taking advantage of our community, and they are counting on us to feel ashamed.

Ah, hookup culture.

The internet is a playground for anonymity. It is not your fault. You do not have to report it to police. You do not have to tell your friends. The shame felt after being the victim on this type of crime is rough enough. What do we mean by shame? Or that this is what you get for cruising online? Do you think you deserve your STI because promiscuity and casual sex is wrong?

Do you think your kinks are too freaky? Musquiz says that among consenting adults, there is absolutely nothing wrong with engaging in hook-ups, whether it is through the internet or by picking someone up in a bar, book store or bath house. And so they continue to do what they do, and we continue to be victimized and keep it under wraps. If an assault happens to you, call us and we can advocate for you.

We are here to assist, and not to judge. If you get beaten up, the advocate can be with you at the hospital, and help you decide whether or not you want to file a police report. Help is just a phone call away. Call Montrose Counseling Center at If it is your intention to meet someone for the sole purpose of having sex, there are some special considerations to be aware of:. If you do choose to have sex in a public place, try not to isolate yourself with your sex-partner so far away from others that you cannot call for help if needed.

You have a right to give and get consent for any legal behavior without being harmed.

We hope that by opening the conversation about hook-ups that we empower our community to ask for help, feel unashamed about the adult choices they are making, and ultimately lower our risk of being victims of violence.

What is the difference between Guilt and Shame? If it is your intention to meet someone for the sole purpose of having sex, there are some special considerations to be aware of: Make the major decisions before you meet. What will sex be like? Will you be using protection? Where will the hook-up occur?

11 things you need to do before hooking up with someone

If at all possible, meet in a public place first. Make sure you feel comfortable with the person and that they are what they purported to be. Trust your instincts. If you feel uncomfortable, leave. Always make note of the route you took to get there.

Having a pad of paper and a pencil in your car helps. Leave your valuables in your car. Do not take in your wallet, watch, rings, etc. Once inside the home, look around.

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Make note of the exits. Always place yourself between the person and the exits, if possible. You will no longer be in control if they slip something into your food or drink. Pay attention to whether or not the deadbolt is locked via key or turn of the lock.

If by the key, pay attention to where the key is. If they bring a duffle bag, ask to see inside before you let them home.

Do not dead bolt yourself inside. Have a telephone in plain sight and make sure it is fully charged. Be aware of your exits.